Despair
Not sure how long I've been here now. They still come, to taunt, to jeer
through the bars. I can hardly hear them any more. That would make it slightly
better if it wasn't for the pain. Still not sure what happened. After last
year my life just turned upside down. and now, just when I'm getting back on
my feet at last some guys come and.....there must have been ten of them. They
came in the daytime, sealed the room from the sun. The first I knew of it was
when they slammed the wardrobe open and tore me from my earth. I was weak as a
kitten, barely even conscious. Didn't stop them chaining me and gagging me and
shutting me in a box. Couldn't even sleep properly away from my earth, but I
don't remember much after that until I was in the cage. They didn't feed me for
five days, while they poked and prodded and took their samples. I don't know if
lack of blood can kill me, but all I could do was lie there, feeling the
feeling fading from my body. The numbness was worse than the pain. Haven't slept properly since I've been here, they won't give me my earth back. Its behind me, outside the bars. The lab assistants put it there as a taunt and forgot about it. Can't quite reach it. I've tried. When they played back the security footage it gave them quite a laugh. There's light. But its midnight. I raise my hands to cover my eyes and the noise starts. The light gets brighter and the noise climbs swiftly through the scale into the intolerable. I can't hear anything over the noise, but I know I am whimpering. The light and the sound are too great, I know I can take no more, but it goes on and on.....and stops. The silence echos in my skull. As my vision clears I venture a glance outside the bars. There are three men there. One is writing on a clipboard. He looks up and catches my eye, and I flinch, expecting more pain. He smiles. "Its alright. All over for now. Here." He tosses a small plastic sachet into the cage. I scrabble for it, hating myself for being so weak, finding my instincts impossible to resist. My teeth extend in my mouth as I drink, and I know my eyes are turning red. It used to scare them. Now they're used to it. Just another way in which I'm different. I can feel their gaze on me, curious, clinical. I hunch myself up, turnng away from them, hiding my mouth with my hands as I clutch the packet. They're still watching me, and its almost more than I can stand. copyright A.Whetton 1997.
Principia Malefex. | |||||
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